


Can't

by Python07



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Sleep deprived Armand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 10:04:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16532447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Python07/pseuds/Python07
Summary: This isn't the great Cardinal Richelieu. This is sleep deprived, 100% done Armand.





	Can't

I don’t know if he’s realized that I’ve stopped responding. He’s been shouting at me for the last half hour. I timed it. The first ten minutes was about the Queen. The last twenty have been about his beloved musketeers that can do no wrong.

He paces before my desk. There’s fire in his eyes as he glares at me every time he turns on his heel. His face is red and he has a white knuckle grip on the hilt of his sword. He’s stern, beautiful, and implacable.

I won’t tell him that I was following the King’s directive. That can never get out as France isn’t prepared for war. Besides, he wouldn’t believe me. I don’t know why he doesn’t think to question why I acted as I did. He simply lashes out and there’s no talking to him in this frame of mind.

We won’t discuss the fact that his favorites are far from perfect. One is a drunkard. One is a womanizer who goes after ladies that he shouldn’t. One is a young hothead. The only one with an ounce of sense is Porthos.

I wish I could tell him of the unborn child’s biological father, but it would do no good. France needs this child. Louis needs this child so I will hold my tongue. Besides, he is here to punish me for my sins. I’m the one who can’t be forgiven while he is willingly blind to the faults of anyone else.

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in God knows how long. My head pounds and the blood rushes in my ears. I fold my hands in my lap to hide them shaking. I stop watching him. I stop listening. It’s nothing he hasn’t said before. It’s nothing I haven’t made myself heed before because we trusted each other. I’m beginning to think that trust was misplaced on both sides.

He slams his hands down on my desk and leans in close. His lip is curled up in a snarl. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

I don’t start. I don’t look at him. I shrug. “Everything you say is true.”

He snorts derisively. “Is that all?”

I feel myself smiling and I know it’s a bit mad. “I can’t do this anymore.”

He slams his hands down on the desk again. “What?”

The tension suddenly leaves me. I relax back in my seat and give him that mad edged smile. “Are you hard of hearing, Captain? I can’t do this anymore.”

He’s still glowering at me. “Can’t do what anymore?”

I wave a hand between us. “This.” I chuckle and I can hear the contained hysteria. “Us.” I stand to shoo him away. “Be gone, Captain. Her Majesty and your idiot musketeers have defeated me. They have nothing to fear from me.”

He straightens up and stares at me for a long moment. “Do you really mean that?”

“Yes. The Queen is with child. France needs an heir.” I know that slightly mad expression is still on my face. I can’t seem to help it and I’m too tired to fight it. I shoo him away again. “I certainly want no part of another civil war. You want to hear me say I’m wrong? Very well. I’m wrong. I made a colossal mistake.” 

He bares his teeth. “You think that makes it all better?”

“Of course not,” I shoot back. “Be gone, Captain, before you strain your voice. You’ve already broken your own record for how long you can continuously shout at me.” 

He just blinks at me, uncertain. 

I can’t even try to stifle the laugh that bubbles up from my chest. “I’m sure your beloved musketeers are wondering where you are. Surely, one of them needs his hand held or his nose wiped. Go tell them a bedtime story about the tongue lashing you gave to the evil Cardinal Richelieu.”

His face turns red again. “Armand,” he growls.

I hold a hand up to interrupt him. “No. There’s no more Armand and Jean.” I point between us. “There’s no more of that. There is only the First Minister and the Captain of the Musketeers in this room. Two men who can barely stand to work together, let alone have a civil conversation.”

He grabs my wrist. “You can’t be serious.”

I jerk my hand away. “That was your plan when you walked in here. It was plain as day on your face. I just beat you to it.”

“I…” his voice trails off. He looks like a lost little boy but I can’t bring myself to care.

I sit back down. “You know how I dislike repeating myself. Do I need to have Jussac show you out?”

“You’re wrong.”

I shut my eyes and rub my temples. That mad smile is still on my face. “No, I’m not. Did you listen to yourself? You’re tired of my filthy games. You can’t trust me anymore. You have a duty to the Queen, to your men. You’re tired of feeling as if you have to choose between us when you’ve already made the choice.”

“You’re all about duty,” he spits at me. “God and France.”

“God, France, and you.”

It’s easy to admit it now that the trust is broken. He was the one thing I allowed for myself. God has shown me the error of my ways. God is forgiving and merciful while he only displays those qualities for his musketeers.

Why not? I’m the snake in the garden. The musketeers are bluff, honest boys who wouldn’t harm a fly. I would roll my eyes if it wouldn’t hurt so much to see the light.

He lets out a choked sound. “Armand.”

“No,” I cut him off. The gremlin tunneling in my head is working double time and I need him gone. “I should come in second to God and country, but I refuse to continue to come in second to your brash band of idiots. Now, get out.”

He swiftly crosses to my side of the desk. He grabs my wrists. “Armand.”

He smells of gunpowder and leather and it’s revolting. I shove him away and jump to my feet. I ignore the pain. Everywhere. I’m shaking all over but if he touches me I’ll tear him apart. “You no longer have leave to use that name. You have what you came for. You have my word that the Queen, her child, and your idiots are safe from me. You have a right to nothing else. Get out before I have my guards throw you out.”

He opens his mouth and abruptly shuts it again. His hands twitch at his sides. He throws one last glare at me, turns on his heel, and stalks out.

I wait until he’s gone before I sink back into my chair. I need a moment for the world to stop spinning. I need some tea and my bed. I think I may actually be able to sleep. That’s all I will think about right now.


End file.
